We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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