And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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