I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we're so committed to being not committed
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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