I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
