DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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