i love accidental penises.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
false alarm, still single
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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