So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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