So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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