I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
