you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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