Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
