He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's the barista slut.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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