I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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