Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
