There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
