Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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