i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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