You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
