Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
