so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
