mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
