just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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