why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize