maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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