I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
