remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
