I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
