Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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