Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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