hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
