The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize