Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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