Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
