Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm really busy with my period
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