he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize