Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
