Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
