I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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