I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
