I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
