I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
