i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I believe in your delicious
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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