just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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