Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
God I need to hump something, right now.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize