I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Randomize
