The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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