Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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