It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize