I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize