HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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