he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
