I must be too annoying 4 u.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize