He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
