If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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