I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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