yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
