worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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