I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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