He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
