i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
