So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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