Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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