Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
