Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
dude. I can hear the air.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
