Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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