Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
