i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
