i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i out mim tonsoeep
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