Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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