im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
