yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
