chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
