He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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