I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
