She announced her abortion via fbk
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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