did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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