Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
