My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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