This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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