My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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