whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
