i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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