What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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