Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
