when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is Oprah even human
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
