Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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