I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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